5 Things I've Learned From Living in Naples Florida

As I'm being bad, again, and posting this from work, there will be no pictures in this post because Blogger is no longer supported on the version of Internet Explorer we use here at work, and I don't have the authority to download another browser. So enjoy a post without pictures!

5 Things I've Learned From Living in Naples Florida.

1. Bentleys, Porsches, and Maserati’s are not special. I see between 5-10 Bentleys and Maseratis everyday on my way to work, and countless porsche’s all day long. I’ve been jaded. It takes a lot to impress me with your car now. (Anyone else singing, That Don’t Impress Me Much right now?
   
   
2. Old People Give No F****. They’ll block the aisle with their shopping cart, the road with their car, and God forbid you come anywhere near their dog while they’re walking it.
   
   
3. Expect to Spend A Lot Of Money. Pretty much anywhere you go here, you’re going to drop some cash. If you’re going out for dinner or drinks especially, but shopping as well. Don’t get me wrong, we have our cheaper places, but everyone gets tired of Applebee’s and Skyline Chili after a while. Even our hole-in-the-wall places are close to $20 a plate, and $8 a cocktail at the cheapest.
   
   
4. If You’re On A Major Road, the Medians Will Be Perfect. There is no such thing, here, as not taking care of your grass. Our roadways are beautiful because the county spends a BOATLOAD on keeping them that way.
   
   
5. You Will Never-Not-See Road Work. Florida is the state of constant roadwork. Or roadwork projects take at least 3 years to complete, and there are usually about 6 of them going on in the same area, at the same time. But when they’re complete. Man, oh, man. The roads are pretty. If only those old people and northerners would get our of our way…

If you've ever been to Naples, I'm sure you can associate with a lot of these. I love Naples, but I can't wait to move back to Sarasota (about two hours north of where I am now) because even though Siesta Key Beach in Sarasota has been voted one of the best beaches in American many, many times, the tourist season in Sarasota is still ONE THOUSAND times better and easier than "Season" in Naples.

Take me home, highway road.