Tasty Tuesday



The wedding is less than three weeks away and my weekend was full of a LOT of food and a LOT of alcohol, so it’s probably a duh that this post is going to be about trying to be healthy.

 

From Friday at 1pm to Sunday at bed time, I ate the following:

slice of cheese pizza, taco and cheese taquito, chick-fil-a spicy chicken sandwich/medium fry/A-FREAKING-LOT OF HONEY MUSTARD, salt and vinegar chips, baked bbq chips, oreos, goldfish, jumbalaya, breakfast sandwich, fruit, cream cheese Danish(es), giant bowl o’ cheesecake factory pasta, bread with butter, more salt and vinegar/bbq chips and oreos and goldfish, pizza, garlic knot, another slice of pizza (same night, hours later), French toast, more cream cheese danishes, arbys medium beef and cheddar sandwich/small fry/jalapeno poppers with bronco berry sauce, sushi, home-made chicken and noodles, and lastly, triscuits with jalapeno pimento cheese.

I also drank about 5 shots of fireball, 2 shots of jager, about 20 beers, a tequila&tonic, half a bottle of wine, two giant ass mimosas (solo cup style), two red bulls, a HUGE and MUCH STRONGER THAN NORMAL hurricane, and probably things that were bought for me that I can’t even remember. Oh, and soda. I just don’t drink soda.

 

 

Not even kidding. According to my scale I was about 2lbs heavier this morning. I know that’s mostly just water weight but it still needs to be corrected. I have to fit in my wedding dress.

 

Soooo the next few weeks are pretty importante. I ain’t tryna starve myself or nothing, but I need to scale it back, big time. I’m working on them portions, yo.

 

I don’t know why I just got all capital G up in your space there, but I did, so get over it. Back to lower case g status.

 

Any-to-the-wizzay, as I’m writing crap about losing weight and being healthy, I’m eating Publix Spicy Asian trail mix. I justify it like this: it’s organic, and it’s spicy. The capsasin in spicy foods makes your metabolism faster, therefor, it’s a weight loss food. Own it.  But really this is how I feel about it:

 

I’m finding it really hard to concentrate on getting skinny when I know that delicious jalapeno pimento cheese is waiting for me to scoop it up onto some roasted onion triscuits and just mmmowww down on it. Though if it were able to think it probably wouldn’t be thinking about wanting me to eat it (OR MAYBE IT WOULD, YOU NEVER KNOW-IT MIGHT HAVE SOME PROBLEMS).

 

So long story short this probably wont go well because my mind is DEFINITELY not in it. But I’ll try. Somewhat.

 

Side note: When I was looking for those ecards I came across this and almost actually regurgitated: