Yesterday my body decided to attack. No joke. I woke up with a crazy sore throat and I thought, maybe it was just too cold in the apartment. My throat will warm up and feel better. But man was I wrong.

 

So here I sit on the floor in our guest bedroom with toilet paper shoved up my nose.

 

No, I don't have skunk hair. Yes, that's a webcam photo. You think I'm pulling out the DSLR for that glamour shot? I needed as much grain as I could get. I tried to take the picture in the dark, but all you could see were two glowing little tufts of toilet paper.

 

Anyways, here's what todays post is really about:

 

Don't have sex. If you do, you will get pregnant and die. Now everyone take a rubber.

 

Just kidding.

 

 As you all know, my wedding is in a mere 4 and a half weeks. I'm not freaking out emotionally yet (I think I have about 2 more weeks for that), but I am a bit about fitting into my dress correctly. I was about 10lbs too heavy for it and my goal was to lose that before the wedding. Well, I've officially kicked into diet mode.

 

I've done the protein diet (as my mom and I call it- it's really just the first 2 weeks of the Atkins diet) before, and it usually works to kick about 15lbs off of me in 2 weeks. Then as long as you don't immediately go back to eating McDonalds for every meal after the first two weeks, you tend to keep the weight off.

 

There's really only 1 rule: eat under 20g total carbs, a day. So no sugar, no bread, no noodles, no rice, etc. You do that for two weeks, then after that you starting incorporating more veggies back in.

 

It's also a good idea to try to watch the saturated fat content in the foods you're choosing. Sure, you could eat a 10oz ribeye every day for 0 carbs, but you'll probably have a heart attack by the end of it. So I tend to gravitate towards turkey pepperonis, turkey jerky, bone in chicken, parmesan, low-fat mozzarella, eggs, and chicken Caesar salads.

 

The diet is great the first couple of days because you get to eat all of the things you're normally concerned about eating, much like the 10oz of ribeye I shoved down my throat last night. But eventually it wears on your, and by day 12 you find yourself crying on the phone to your mom about missing carbs, and you go out and buy a lean cuisine pizza and eat it and then feel so guilty that you puke it up.

 

I've never done that or anything.

 

But this time, day 12 will be the first day of my bachelorette weekend, so I'm hoping and praying that shortening the diet by 3 days wont kill me, as long as I get back to eating healthy right after the weekend. Tune back in 2 weeks to see my results!

 

Day one went extremely well. Despite being sick, it looks like day 2 is going to go well, too.