Weak Wednesday

 

Today is now weak Wednesday because I had a really awesome recipe to post, for which I took pictures of the entire process (BY MYSELF- DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS?!) but Jason took my computer to work with him so I wasn't able to upload the photos SO YOU GET NO DELICIOUS SOUP.

 

You'll get soup tomorrow or something.

 

So that whole situation is WEAK. 

 

So instead, you get a list of the other weak ass things that have happened the past few days.

 

One

My phone permanently telling me that I have a new email, when I in fact have checked (Okay, okay- deleted or marked as read) all of them.

 

 

Two

My favorite designer at work TOTALLY RUINING all of the Breaking Bad seasons that I haven't gotten to watch yet. She seriously walked out of her office, asked if I watch it, then after I told her, "I've only seen some. I'm really hoping to get to see more soon, though!" SHE PROCEEDED TO STAND AT MY DESK AND TELL EVERYONE IN THE AREA EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED IN THE LAST FIVE SEASONS.

 

You are NO LONGER my favorite designer, madam.

 

Three

Getting up at 5:30am to go to the gym.

 

I can't lie. It's extremely nice to go straight home from work and pour a glass of wine without feeling guilty about it. It's so totally not nice to have to take freezing cold showers at the gym in the morning because they have no hot water. So basically I get into the shower and strip down, then point the nozzle WAAYYY into the corner, then turn it on and contort my body into all sorts of crazy shapes just to wash my face and hair without putting my full body under the water. Then I pretty much have to wash one body part at a time so that my body doesn't seize up on me and have a cardiac arrest situation happening.

 

Here is an extremely accurate depiction of what my morning showers at the gym look like:

I have big boobs. Get over your jealousy.

 

The first time I took a shower there I was expecting the water to be hot (there was a hot symbol on one side- it's a no brainer) so I just jumped right in after letting it turn on for a few minutes.

 

I pretty much screamed the loudest I've ever screamed and pulled the shower rod down. In the middle of the gym bathroom.

 

 

 

Four

I always always always end up starting a diet like a week and a half before my aunt Flow comes to visit (Do I even capitalize that? Do people even still say that? Should I call it Shark Week instead?), which always results in this:

 

Day one: Doing well! Worked out and ate well. I'm going to bed satisfied and proud of myself!

Day two: A little hungry. Didn't go to the gym but I made sure to eat correctly to meet my calories.

Day three: OH MY GOD. I JUST WANT TO EAT PIZZA AND COOKIES AND MUFFINS AND CAKE AND CHEESY POOFS AND CHEESE FRIES AND SPAGHETTI AND SOME MEATBALLS IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!

 

Day three usually continues for a few days. Needless to say, today is day three.

 

I did make it to the gym at least, though.

 

 

 

Five

Lastly, I got a Kindle Fire HD for my birthday and I'm already super obsessed with the thing because now I can actually see what pins and instagram photos are without lugging my laptop everywhere. I am a little peeved over some things, though.

 

For an HD item, it takes TERRIBLE selfies photos. But my biggest peeve is that I can't get instagram as an app on it. What the kinda crap is that? The thing takes pictures! Why naaahh? Every other single app ever created is available on it!

 

I also almost fell off the treadmill this morning while I was watching Once Upon a Time on Hulu because staring at the screen while jogging apparently makes me dizzy.

 

At least it was so early there was only like 3 people there to see me half-fall. Plus they were all old.

 

I live in Naples. It's nothing new.